The Student - Anton Chekhov

     "The Student" by Anton Chekov

     For me there are two kinds of short stories: those that leave me amused and those that leave me puzzled. The best of the first type makes me gently smile and that of the second type prods me to search the hidden revelations I failed to catch. “The Student”, however, was neither, although closer to the second type. Although the succinct writing style of Chekov, both descriptive and sentimental, impressed me, the conclusion - so protruding and lacking in subtlety - evaporated in me the desire to dig deeper into the piece.

     But indeed, like all renowned pieces, “The Student” had its depth -and to my surprise-, in the very portion that I disliked instantaneously: the conclusion. The ending reveals the revelation Ivan experiences, which is basically that the past is linked with the present. Why he considers this so marvelous is not stated explicitly. But readers imply that for a son of a sacristan and a student of the clerical academy, eliciting tears from two women by recounting a biblical story would empower him as a religious figure and give him confidence over how profoundly he can impact other people. 

     However, “the inexpressible sweet expectation of happiness” that takes his possession little by little is far from being optimistic. Beneath the facade of bliss lies Chekhov’s deliberate cynicism that aims to question the value of Ivan’s revelation. Chekhov’s philosophy may be a hint as to why. Chekhov, in one of his letter to Suvorin, talks about how it is the artist’s only job to state a problem correctly, rather than giving an answer. This philosophy manifests in “The Student” through his cynicism; if the story were meant to be optimistic, it would render the whole story as a simple answer that is provide in the conclusion. But Chekhov leaves various hints inside the story for one to reasonably claim that the authorial perspective is different from Ivan’s. In other words, what Ivan experiences is not a reflection of what Chekhov feels. 

     Reading the story numerous times allows one to easily spot the cynicism. In the final paragraph that describes Ivan’s response to his revelation, Chekhov chooses to interpose and inform the readers Ivan’s age, twenty-two. While this may be a simple elaboration on the “feeling of youth, health, and vigour”, combined with Ivan’s arrogance manifested through his portrayal of Lukerya as stupid, the unnecessary mention of his age hints that the revelation is as young and immature as himself. The revelation itself is very ironic because at the beginning of the story, he thinks that the cold wind that “destroys the order and harmony of things” must have also blown in the days of Rurik and in the time of Ivan the Terrible and Peter. So in a sense, Ivan has realized from the start that the past is linked with the present. And when  Furthermore, the last sentence describes Ivan’s view of life as being “enchanting, marvelous, and full of lofty meaning.” The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines lofty to mean either very high or showing the insulting attitude of people who think that they are better, smarter, or more important. To describe life with high meaning is awkward, so Chekov probably meant to underscore the arrogance that Ivan’s revelation was based on, and hence the hastiness. 

     So the final question: Did Chekov mean to be pessimistic? I would say no. As Chekov often cited the piece as a defense against the accusation of pessimism, the piece is both cynical and un-pessimistic because in the end, while Ivan’s revelation may be delusional and short-lived, Ivan experiences epiphany. What Chekov ultimately wanted to convey through the piece is unclear. But I middy suggest that the story illustrates how one can overcome despair and misery - described in the opening through the weather - by searching for what shines in the gloomy surroundings, which was the widow’s garden for Ivan. One’s ability to alter his have been a valuable message for Chekov, who himself went through economic hardships when young and later in his life emphasized heavily with the local, poor peasants.

30 Things About Myself

1. Basketball
I love basketball. One of my biggest goal of my senior year is to win the state championship. I'm a bit worried because my ankle injury from a year ago still hurts little by little. I skipped the state championship last year because of the injury, and don't want that to repeat again. I sometimes imagine myself placed in a dramatic situation where I am an injured NBA player and have to choose between playing the most important game of my life and saving myself from become disabled.

2. Music
Some people love listening to one song for hours and days. I don't. I always vary my playlist and my range of taste includes ballad, soft rock, rap, dance music, piano, guitar.....My favorite musician so far is Nell.

3. Mountain Hiking
I have climbed many mountains - big and small, outside and inside Korea. Since young, my dad has taken me to mountains. We didn't talk to much during hiking, but it was our special son-dad time. But honestly, I'm not sure if I truly enjoy hiking myself. A few weeks ago, I went hiking with dad. Part of me wanted to remain home, but rejecting would have hurt his feelings, so we headed to Keumkang mountain for the fourth time in my life. Maybe I will enjoying hiking at my father's age.

4. Spaghetti
My favorite food is spaghetti. I like cream spaghetti the most, but I can't eat more than three bites of the greasy dish. It's quite ironic because it's exactly the greasy and rich cream that appeals to my taste. So the strategy I deploy in Italian restaurants is persuading other people - especially my parents, because they are the easiest - to order cream spaghetti while I order something less greasy, and then savoring just three bites of the cream spaghetti from my victim.

But nowadays, I just want to eat meat, meat, meat. I don't want to admit that it's my favorite food yet, because it somehow sounds more ignorant and indiscriminating.

5. Magic Hand
What my hand grabs hold of usually disappears. More than 5 ipods and earphones vanished through my touch. My mom exploded in rage when I once lost my family camera. My memory tells me hundreds of pictures were lost as well. My mom tells me that she seriously wishes that I lose my passport while traveling abroad, so that I learn a painful lesson.

6. Bicycle
Bicycle rivals basketball as my favorite hobby. While basketball is rigorous, energetic, and social, riding a bicycle is more sedate, thought-provoking, and solitary. My normal middle school day had at least one hour of bike riding since I rarely took cars when going to school or hagwons.

7. Movies
I love watching movies. One thing that may set me apart is that I'm perfectly fine with and sometimes enjoy going to the theater alone. As I got older, I lost interest in fantasy and action. Now, I'm more into drama and comedy. The most recent movie I saw was Frozen, which I watched in 3D with my sister. It was pleasant, but nothing more.

8. Desire
My desire is to get over with my senior year as fast as possible. I can't wait for the eight month break, waiting for a new chapter in my life while savoring the tediousness of everyday with nothing to do.

9. Chinese
My tie with China started about five years ago. Chinese class isn't my favorite. But recently, I've been thinking that talking fluently in Chinese would be great, and I plan to keep learning the lang in college. I want to befriend many Chinese when I go to college to improve my Chinese. Besides, I heard that many Chinese in American colleges are rich beyond imagination. Of Course, this would account very little for my desire to befriend a person, but again, many are rich beyond imagination. Who knows what palace I will be invited to and what posh I will be served when I visit one of them in China.

10. Games
For a boy, I don't play much games. At one point, I always feel a rush of futility. Maplestory has never failed me with this regard. The game that held my interest for the longest was Crazyarcade. Honestly, I think it's really sophisticated and intellectual, contrary to its cute appearance.

11. Travelling
I love traveling. I've been to US, China, UK, Hong Kong, Japan, Czech, and so on. I wanted to travel around Europe when I was young, but recently I'm more attracted to South America or Africa.

12. Earphone
I like spending money on earphones. When I was young, I preferred earphones with booming bass. But now I prefer open earphones with high resolution. Just like one's music preference expresses something about that person, earphone preference, I believe, speaks about that person as well.

13. pneumothorax
I have three scars around my chest. I got them through three rounds of surgeries last year after suffering from pneumothorax twice. Since young, I have barely stepped into a hospital, so both my parents and I were shocked when the doctor told us that I would need a surgery. Pneumothorax is infamous for recurring, and indeed it recurred two weeks after I recovered from my first round.

14. Han River
I feel most comfortable next to the Han River. I've been there alone and with my friends numerous times, most of the time riding my bike. The wind that rushes against my body both empowers and consoles me. I find the Han River whenever I want to let go of tangled emotions and pressure from my mind.

15. Winter
Winter is my favorite season. It was spring or autumn before, but it changed.

16. Love
The word fills me with both excitement and worries - excitement because of obvious reasons, and worries because I'm worried that I would not be able to love anyone for long, especially because I'm capricious. It wouldn't be too much of a problem when I'm young, but I really don't want that to happen after I'm married.

17. Moving
Due to my father's job, my family moved more than six times after I was born. I've lived in Busan, Ulsan, Incheon, Yeosu, Seoul Mokdong, Seoul Jamsil, US Virginia, and maybe Mokpo when I was an infant. The experience almost forced me to become active and well-assimilating, so partly, I'm grateful.

18. Soccer
I was a soccer kid back when I was an elementary kid, but I switched to basketball since middle school. Why? Because it's more cool and fun. It's shameful that more Koreans are soccer fanatics than basketball fanatics; I blame them for the poor NBA broadcasting in Korea.

19. Broomstick
Broomstick was my nickname in middle school. I'm often teased for my curly and bushy hair in KMLA - one culprit inside this room, JEFF -, but personally I don't care too much. My hair was indeed a broomstick back in middle school, making my hair now somewhat calm and neat. Whenever I sweated in middle school, the entire tangle of my hair shot upwards to the sky and remained stuck. It was a mystery to all.

20. Malcolm X
I wouldn't call him my idol, but Malcolm X is definitely the public figure who intrigues me most. A man always surrounded by controversies, he devoted his entire life to blacks in America. His charisma, stemming from his powerful stature, oratory skills, and blind pursuit towards his goal, was so great that many whites feared his influence and many opponents refused to debate him in public.

21. Future
Frankly, I don't know what I want to do in the future. I personally think that asking a student what he wants to do in the future is a meaningless question. The reason why 'future' is one of my keyword is because recently, I'm beginning to ponder about what kind of life I want to live. Do I want to make a lot of money? Or do I want to work for a righteous cause?

22. Fashion
Fashion... I know fashion. I like fashionable people. But I don't care much about my own fashion. Maybe I will after I graduate and escape this dormitory that pretty much allows no room for fashion.

23. Allen Iverson
Allen Iverson is my favorite basketball player. He is retired now and probably somewhere playing amateur basketball. But when he was in the NBA, he was phenomenal, revolutionizing the crossover move to overcome his short height and become the scoring leader. My favorite play and definitely a legendary moment in the NBA, is when he crossed up Michael Jordan and made a pull-up jump shot. The entire crowd stood up when it was evident that Iverson was going to go 1 on 1 against Michael Jordan, not only the greatest offensive player, but the greatest defensive player at the time.

24. Brian
My English name is Brian, but I don't like it. Honestly, I don't think I fit into any English name. Moreover, I don't like the idea of English names. For me, a Korean should be called by his Korean name.

25. Skiing
For me, skiing is a sign that I'm getting old. I loved skiing the first day I learned it, which was about four to five years ago. Even in summer, simply imagining it filled me with excitement and anticipation, but not now. I'm more worried about getting injured.

26. Religion
My mom is Catholic, but the rest of us in the family don't believe in God. When I went to church when I was young, I dozed through most of the preaching, and woke up at the end to make a wish. Feeling somewhat guilty, I made a promise that I would be more devout when my wish was granted. But I failed to keep my promise most of the time.

27. Galapagos Islands
I will, definitely, go to the Galapagos Islands at some point in my life. The place was one of my child dreams since it holds so many wonders of nature.

28. Being Korean
When I was young, I wished that I had been born somewhere else like US or Germany so I wouldn't have to suffer from the intense heat of education. But now, I'm content with being a Korean because of the intimacy between people.

29. Friends
Friends are definitely one of the most important part of my life. I never realized this until this vacation, I found out how boring and meaningless life is without friends to talk to and share your emotions. I prefer few best friends rather than many shallow friends. Some people say that you can be intimate with all of them, but I disagree.

30. Emotion
Just like my motto 'this too shall pass', I think I'm relatively good at letting go of things that either depress me too much or excite me too much.

Dear 2g phone

Dear 2g Phone

            How cold you must be. In this freezing weather, when everyone is armed with multiple layers of clothing, not only do you not have a glossy case like other phones, your back is bare. I remember: it was about three days ago. I dropped you in my dorm room from the desk. It must have been about a meter from the ground, 20 times your height. The impact of the fall ruthlessly tore you apart into three pieces: body, battery, and back cover.

            Had it been a normal person, he would have instantaneously screamed, picked up his phone, and meticulously checked for any scratches. He would have been shocked that his phone was disintegrated. He would have felt pity. Oh, but my dear 2g phone, not me. I merely cast a glance and left you there, for I was busy typing on my lab top. You lay there, like that lame potato in Toy Story. While leaving the room after a while, I quickly swooped up your body and battery, leaving your back cover on the ground. I carelessly plugged the battery into your body and plunged you into the darkness of my Nubi’s pocket.

Why I have become so accustomed to dropping you and watching you fall apart is simple. First, I have done it too many times. Not only have I dropped you out of mistake, I have thrown you high in the air to see what happens. Out of sympathy still left inside me, I have thrown you on grass and snow only. The result has been fascinating; you endured every fall, no matter how high. I wonder why you are so sturdy when your worthless body has no function to preserve. My intellectual curiosity tempts me to shatter you on concrete, but we will see. Watching you fall apart has been my joy. But don’t get too upset, my friends have laughed as well. My advice: befriend loneliness.

Second, I’m not fond of you. I’m not desperate for a smart phone, but I do think that a smart phone would better serve my life. Playing your tedious games inevitably makes me curse the day when I lost my iphone three years ago in a noraebang. The moment I’m typing these words, a friend of mine is playing with a Galaxy S3 a racing game with fantastic graphics that would probably make you explode if you were to run it.

Dear phone, you are probably shivering in cold. I can barely imagine how I would feel when the skin of my back is sliced off in this weather. But what can I do? When I was cleaning my room today, I saw no trace of your back cover. Will I search again when I go back? No, I’ve got more important business, such as doing Facebook.

But don’t get discouraged by this letter, because I do have a plan for you. I’m not just going to hurl you into the trash. I have learned that as time passes and smart phones dominate the world, you become somewhat ‘special’. Of course, nobody wants you now. But after decades, when you transcend the concept of obsolescence and define the adjective ‘primitive’, I shall sell you off to some museum and earn big money. You don’t need to do much. Just endure two or more decades hopelessly wishing that someone would find your back cover. Good luck buddy.

Tales of the Unexpected - Exploring Human Weakness

            The stories in ‘Tales of the Unexpected’ are bizarre. Not surprising, because most short stories are. Roald Dahl’s short stories end with an abrupt twist of the plot, leaving the reader bewildered and dazzled, wondering whether the story was meant for anything at all. For example, in ‘Dip in the Pool’, a man named Mr. Botibol attempts to win a bet by jumping off a ship, expecting to be saved by the woman standing next to him when he jumps down. But after some hesitation, she turns back and walks away, leaving poor Mr. Botibol floundering in the sea. At this point, when the reader expects some kind of miracle, the story ends. But definitely, the stories aren’t just meant for amusement; they are too short to develop plots intricate enough to weave thrill and suspense. Instead, every story has its own, subtle message that combine into a single theme – human’s weakness to his impulse.

            The characters in ‘Tales of the Unexpected’ seem more evil, cold, and egocentric than normal humans. But the darkness of their nature is not exaggerated; the characters are not exceptional. Most of us, if put in extreme situations, are triggered to unethical and insane thoughts. Thus, rather than underlining how evil humans are, Roald Dahl shows that humans are weak to such sudden impulse.  

            One of the most famous short stories, ‘Lamb to the Slaughter’ is a murder story. Mary, after learning from her husband that he will leave her, bangs his head with a lamb’s leg from behind. He immediately dies. Whether she meant to kill him is unknown. But her murder isn’t as surprising as how she murders and her reactions afterwards. How she conveys this blow is shocking, as she does it without any hesitation. Even after checking his death, all she says is ‘All right, so I’ve killed him’. This contrasts to herself just a few minutes from then, when she loved her husband so dearly. She shows no sign of remorse or panic, as she coldly and intelligently creates a false scene to escape blame, at which she succeeds. Mary illustrates how humans can turn cold so suddenly; how we are so easily dominated by our sudden impulse and whim; how your lover can be your murderer the next minute. Joker illustrates this concept in the movie ‘Dark Knight’, when he says that the mere difference between a hero and a villain is a sheet of paper. ‘Lamb to the Slaughter’ should not be interpreted as an isolated case of a crazy woman. Most of us totally depend on the people around us, and no one knows what evil we will turn into when something happens to our beloved ones.

            Mr. Botibol in the short story mentioned above, ‘Dip in the Pool’, also demonstrates human weakness. His logic and reasoning are completely obscured by his desire the win the bet. Greed dominates his mind and renders him myopic. Risking his life to win a bet may seem simply crazy and amusing at first glance. But one only needs to think for a while to see that so many people, like Mr. Botibol, risk everything for money. The most respected members of our society are often found in TV, covering their face shamefully under conviction of bribery.

            Roald Dahl, in his brilliant short plots, create entertaining characters that seem unrealistic at first glance but who represent the essence of human nature. By exposing this nature without moderation, he teaches a stark lesson that we may be crazier and weaker than who we think we are.

Short Paragraph on Dorian Gray - How Women Are Portrayed

     At first glance, Oscar Wilde’s “The Picture of Dorian Gray”, encompassing themes of masculinity and homoeroticism between men, might appear as a novel only centered on males. After all, all the main characters, except Sibyl (if one considers her a main character), are males and each represents a Victorian masculine character - an artist, an aristocrat, and a hedonist. Even romance, a theme through which women normally take important roles in novels, is short-lived in the novel, as Sibyl commits suicide. However, whether deliberate or not, “The Picture of Dorian Gray” does portray women in a specific way - as submissive objects who are weak and naive. This is most clearly illustrated through Henry’s reference to women as “a decorative sex” and “never having anything to say, but say it charmingly”. Though in a different manner, Dorian reinforces this portrayal, as he loves Sibyl not for her character and substance, but only for her aesthetic talent. It is not only the males who view women submissively. Females take part as well. Lady Henry, in her conversation with Dorian, says that she “always hear Henry’s views from his friends”, which portrays her as a submissive and naive wife. Similarly, Sibyl is characterized as a woman who is willing to give up her career and talent just
 for her infatuation with Dorian. Her role in the book reinforces this idea, as Sibyl is more of a vehicle that Wilde uses through which Dorian’s corruption and decay manifest, rather than an independent character with a message of her own. Therefore, following this train of thought, it is perhaps more accurate to assume that the lack of substantive depiction of women is a message of its own. In this sense, the novel effectively sends a notable, although not overt or resounding, message about women.

An intriguing, suspenseful, and poignant film: Ben X

            Imagine a student getting bullied. How do you feel? Probably sad, angry, and indignant. Indeed, bullying is cruel and cannot be condoned. But strangely and sadly, such blatant wrong is committed so frequently among mankind. It is a problem that plagues every school. But it’s not a problem among children only. Although in a milder form, it appears in basically every human community; someone is left out, rejected, and ostracized deliberately, and someone else will gloat over the situation. A bully is defined as ‘a person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker’. My personal view is that following this definition, the very structure of the society we live in, wherein the poor are pushed around by the strong to desperately find jobs and feed their families, is a form of bullying. As much as bullying is such a predominant problem of mankind, it powerfully relates to every one of us.

            Bullying, in most cases, stops at an adequate point where the victims suffer emotionally. But in some cases, it is taken to the extreme, resulting in assaults, sexual harassments, and even deaths. ‘Ben X’ is film based on a true story of one of these cases, in which a boy who committed suicide after being bullied. But rather than replicating the exact story and becoming another sad but trite film about how serious bullying is, ‘Ben X’ takes an unexpected swerve at the end that renders it creative and thought-provoking. In the film, Ben, the victim, fakes a suicide and reveals himself at the memorial ceremony in his school. This surprise turns out to be a careful ploy to make the bullies and the world learn and repent.

            The film is intriguing, suspenseful, and poignant. The brilliant acting and the unanticipated twist at the end are especially notable. But it was also the ending that made me a little uncomfortable. The ending reveals that Scarlite, the girl who Ben befriended in a game, met in real life, and saved him from committing a suicide, is merely Ben’s imagination. Scarlite is more than an important friend to Ben; it is only through Scarlite that Ben regains composure and confidence and is able to come up with the creative idea to fake a suicide. However, such important role of Scarlite also implies that if Ben had not befriended Scarlite, he would have quitted forever. 

           This message is daunting and sad because Ben is an exception. That Ben has such an intimate friend in a game and she will devote herself into Ben without evening meeting him, calling herself a healer of Ben, isn’t likely to happen in real life. Even if we take into the consideration that Scarlite outside the game is Ben’s imagination, normal people are not able to conjure a friend into their lives and treat him or her as real, which Ben did out of his exceptional immersion into the game.

            However, despite this impracticality, ‘Ben X’ is definitely worth watching. It warms our heart with the hope that there is probably a way to solve bullying. It gives hope that the cruelest bullies around us also have prospects of change.